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The Unofficial Dictionary · by Seymour Meaning

Finally. A translator for the people you love.

500 things they say, decoded at last. Funny gift books for Dad, Mom, Grandma and everyone else.

Find the right book
DAD SAYS: No. 004
I know a shortcut.

TRANSLATION: We are now completely lost.

From I'm Just Resting My Eyes.

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Or browse the gift guides
Cover of I'm Just Resting My Eyes. 500 Things Your Dad Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Dad I'm Just Resting My Eyes. Coming soon Cover of Because I Said So. 500 Things Your Mom Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Mom Because I Said So. Coming soon Cover of Let's Circle Back. 500 Things Your Boss Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Office Let's Circle Back. Coming soon Cover of Have You Eaten? 500 Things Your Grandma Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Grandma Have You Eaten? Coming soon Cover of Did I Ever Tell You About… 500 Things Your Grandpa Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Grandpa Did I Ever Tell You About… Coming soon Cover of I'll Wait. 500 Things Your Teacher Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Teacher I'll Wait. Coming soon Cover of Do Whatever You Want. 500 Things Your Wife Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Wife Do Whatever You Want. Coming soon Cover of I Was Listening. 500 Things Your Husband Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Husband I Was Listening. Coming soon

Sample entries

Quote of the day
DAD SAYS: No. 001
I'll fix it this weekend.

TRANSLATION: It will never be fixed.

From I'm Just Resting My Eyes.
MOM SAYS: No. 348
I'm fine.

TRANSLATION: She is not fine. Proceed with caution.

From Because I Said So.
OFFICE SAYS: No. 169
It's a quick ask.

TRANSLATION: It is a three-week project.

From Let's Circle Back.
GRANDMA SAYS: No. 076
Don't tell your mother.

TRANSLATION: A secret has been created. It will be kept forever.

From Have You Eaten?
GRANDPA SAYS: No. 406
Yes, dear.

TRANSLATION: The secret to 55 years of marriage. Said with love.

From Did I Ever Tell You About…
TEACHER SAYS: No. 106
Who was talking?

TRANSLATION: Nobody. The whole class heard nobody.

From I'll Wait.

Why it makes a good gift

It's the gift they'll actually read.

Short entries, every one about them. It gets read on the couch, then read out loud to whoever is nearby.

500 entries. Illustrated.

Every book has 500 numbered entries, more than 40 original illustrations, an A–Z index and fill-in pages for their own originals.

Under $16.

The paperback is $15.99 and the Kindle edition $4.99 on Amazon. Under the Secret Santa limit, with room for a card.

65 days to go
Coming up: December 25

Funny Christmas gift books for the whole family

Funny Christmas gifts for Dad, Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, Teacher, coworkers, Wife and Husband. Eight books, one for everyone on the list.

Cover of I'm Just Resting My Eyes. 500 Things Your Dad Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Cover of Because I Said So. 500 Things Your Mom Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Cover of Have You Eaten? 500 Things Your Grandma Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning Cover of Did I Ever Tell You About… 500 Things Your Grandpa Said — Decoded at Last, by Seymour Meaning
See the gift guide